Apartment Hunting in New York - "Oh, you guys, look! Ugly Naked Guy is putting stuff in boxes!" "Ironically, most of them are labled 'clothes'." - Friends

New York is my favorite city. But looking for an apartment here is terrible.

The bright side of the biggest city in the world is that there are always people moving, so there are tons of places available. The dark side of the biggest city in the world is that there are always people moving, so there's tons of competition for the best places.

I'm lucky that I have a day job that pays me well enough that I can be in a nice, safe neighborhood. (I mean, I also have to be for all the times I come home from work at 1am or later.) But I can get a place that's furnished and safe, so I don't have to worry about that. But then it becomes about priorities. How much am I willing to spend on an apartment? What if it doesn't have everything that I want in a place? I know I'll never find the perfect apartment, but I don't want to live in a place that I'll hate for the next six/seven months.

And then what about my roommates? I've had good experiences moving in with people I don't know, but I've also had some really terrible ones. What if I move in with someone who isn't clean? It's New York City, after all, and we're low key infamous for bugs, rats, and roaches. I am absolutely not having that in my living space.

Finally, it becomes how much am I willing to spend on a living space versus how much I want to spend on being an actress. The fact is that every dollar I put into rent is a dollar I can't put towards casting classes with CDs, agents, or managers. I can't spend it on headshots, my website, or producing films. I can't save it for my move to LA.

But isn't the place where I live worth it?

California Dreamin'

You may have noticed that I'm a primarily film and TV actress living in a theater town.

So I'm considering the move to LA.

On one hand, it terrifies me. I'm a native New Yorker. Being a part of this city is a part of who I am as a person. And what if I go out to LA, and I can't gain any traction there? There are so many actors out in LA, what's going to make me stand out? I'm going to spend all of this time and money moving, possibly jeopardize the relationships I've already built here in New York by not being here, and what if nothing even comes of it? It'll be such a colossal waste of time.

But I also keep hearing that I should follow the fear. That if I'm scared of something, that just means that it's the next great thing.

Moving to LA also doesn't mean that I can't come back to New York. Being bicoastal is definitely a thing. And I can start meeting bicoastal CDs and agents/managers now, so I'm prepared to be able to fly back and forth whenever I need to, or at least send video auditions on a regular basis, and I'll have the support system to give me the opportunities to do those in the first place.

If I do move, it'd be in late April, or early/mid May. If I tried to move now, it'd be too late to know anyone well enough for pilot season 2017, and I don't want to throw away a perfectly good pilot season here in New York. And then, if I'm going to be here that long, I also want to be here for the Tribeca Film Festival next year.

This isn't an announcement or anything. Just something I'm really, strongly considering.

After all, I know I have to go out there eventually. It may as well be now. Or at least soon.