The other day I was at my day job, and a coworker casually mentioned that she had been talking with another coworker about how much they love me because I'm so warmhearted. And first I straight up nearly cried at work because the compliment was so unexpected and it means a lot that the people I work with think so highly of me.
Later that night, after closing the restaurant, the other closing server, the closing bartender, and I all went out to a nearby pub for a drink or five. They had both moved to Colorado after college, and they were telling me about how there are people who are perfectly content to spend their whole lives here, working a day job, skiing, and smoking weed. How it's really a pretty awesome life. And it struck me how easy it can be to become content with what you have, and how that's both wonderful and deeply dangerous.
On one hand, I like my day job a whole lot. It gives me the flexibility to pursue what I really want to do, the money to pursue what I really want to do (both in the arts as well as in my personal life), and I like the job itself, especially the people with whom I do the job. It's not perfect - barely a day goes by that I don't get angry that someone sees me as lesser than them for being a server - but there's more good to it than bad.
But I'm concerned that it's part of why I've been losing my discipline in my free time as I write and act.
It's a full time job, so I put a full time amount of time into it. That's a given. But then sometimes I go out with my coworkers, or at least I have to relax a little when I get home, and then I get a full night of sleep, meaning that when I wake up, it's just a few hours before I have to start getting ready to go to my day job again.
I still write - I've got a new short screenplay that I'm working on for a contest, so that'll necessarily have to be done soon - and I still go on auditions and take classes and everything.
Sometimes, though, it's difficult trying to remind myself that I'm happiest when I'm truly pursuing what I love, and that happiness is more than the contentment I feel with where I am now.
Just something I'm considering as I'm beginning to think of resolutions for the new year.