Here's a dirty little secret about me working in a restaurant. When someone doesn't finish their food, if there's a lot of it left or they don't seem especially sick or disgusting, I take it into the back kitchen and finish it myself.
For a while recently, I didn't get to do that as much. I either had shifts where people just finished their own food, or there was a child at the table who had put their mouth on everything, or service was too busy and I didn't have the time to stop and eat the remainder of that croque madame. I found myself hating everyone by the end of each shift, and I just kept thinking that I had too many obnoxious, entitled tables in a row, or that my ability to continue in the service industry was just being worn out.
And then last week I was closing the restaurant, and it was almost the end of the night, and the chef let us have what remained of our tuna tartare special because we were about to close the kitchen and it's not like he could've saved it for another service. And upon eating it, my mood just shot right up. I was so happy by the end of the night. I had never thought I'm the kind of person to get hangry before, but there it was, proof positive that food will always make me feel better.
I know I've written about self-care on this blog before, but sometimes it's not treating yourself to something expensive or taking a day to do at-home spa treatments. Sometimes it's just the most obvious things that we forget, like making sure we're eating enough, and getting enough sleep.
Multiple times over the past couple of weeks, I've slept past my alarm. And it's not the worst thing in the world because I do so much of my actor/producer work from home, and I never slept in so much that I was late for a shift at the day job. But because of that, I kept forgoing the one day a week I just turn off my alarm and sleep as late as I need to. And for the past couple of weeks, I've spent every day in a fog of fatigue.
Last night, I decided that if I kept sleeping through my alarm and still continued to wake up tired, maybe there was an issue, and I should just let myself get the sleep I need. So I turned off my alarm for today.
I slept ten and a half hours. And woke up at 1pm. That's not a sustainable sleep schedule. But oh my god, I feel so good and rested right now. I feel eager for the day ahead of me, not exhausted at the thought that I can't come back to bed for a whole day.
And I think the general moral of these experiences here is that self-care isn't about doing something nice for yourself. It's about doing something necessary for yourself. And sometimes that does mean an extra dessert, or buying something that's purely pretty. But that's just an add-on to making sure you're taking care of your basic needs as a human.
I have to admit, I feel a little embarrassed that I forgot that.