Faith and Love

If you follow my blog at all regularly, you know that I believe in the importance of hard work. You know that I believe that doing the work is what gives you the edge over other people. That I believe that I'm not the most naturally talented actress out there, and I'm not the most well connected actress out there, but I am among the hardest working actresses out there, and that's what allows me to believe that I have a shot in the industry.

But lately, I've been thinking a lot about the path of least resistance, and how sometimes the universe will naturally guide you along your path, regardless of how hard you struggle for it.

Over the past week, I've had two interactions with two very close friends where they told me about what my friendship has meant to them, and how I affected their lives. And both times, it was in things I didn't even know I was doing. Or, more precisely, it was in times when I didn't think I was doing anything.

On a completely different note that still leads to the same thesis, last week I was in a casting class with a casting director who works primarily in film and TV. After I did the sides she had assigned me the first time, she told me that, from just listening to it, she loved my performance, and I had hit every note in the scene. But from watching me, I was doing too much. For my second take, I did nothing. And she loved it.

I believe in the power of hard work, but sometimes life doesn't have to be about work at all. And that is the hardest balance to find.

As I'm used to almost everything in your life happening because of me and the work that I've put in (aside from assistance I've received through the privilege into which I was born, like the color of my skin), it's incredibly difficult to trust that things will just happen on camera, or in my relationships. The subjective and the emotional is almost impossible to understand, making it hard to believe.

I guess I need a deeper study of faith in my life.