"But why is the rum gone?" - Pirates of the Caribbean (2003)

(Oh my god, Pirates of the Caribbean came out in 2003. How's that for making you feel old?)

It's been about ten days since I last posted here. But this time, I have an excellent excuse: I was on holiday with my family in the Dominican Republic! I was deliberately trying to get away from it all!

...Also, the resort where I was staying had terrible internet. Couldn't connect on my computer at all. It's a rough life, really.

But seriously, I had a lovely time. The beach was, of course, beautiful. I finally got the chance to do a bit of pleasure reading. (About another hundred pages of A Dance With Dragons by George R.R. Martin after finishing A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking, what up?) And I'll have to wait until after the holidays are over to do any new photoshoots, because I got incredibly, incredibly tan.


And then, naturally, there's the fact that the resort where I was staying was all-inclusive. Strawberry daiquiris for days.

Of course, for all of that, I still missed New York. I always feel weird whenever I'm not doing something productive, and, due to the internet, this was a trip where not only did I not do anything, but I could not do anything, and it was very strange.

I worry that I sound ungrateful. I'm so glad I had the opportunity to go - I love travel! It's one of my favorite things in the world! And Punta Cana is absolutely beautiful, the resort (Melia Caribe Tropical) was exquisite, and I had a fantastic time.

I wonder, though, if it's something that comes from my age. Having still relatively recently embarked on my career in entertainment, I don't feel like I deserved a break yet. There's still so much more work to do!

Or maybe it's because I love what I do, that being away from it, no matter how nice the circumstances, always feels a bit strange?

Perhaps it comes from not having built-in breaks like I did during school. It's not like this is time that my work has specifically given me to relax, this is time I had to take off. Time that I had to decide to do nothing, even though my work ethic says that I should always be working or I will lose jobs to people who are.

Does this happen to anyone else? I have to believe that it does. I refuse to believe that I'm alone in feeling this way because no one is ever alone in feeling any type of way. Also, because the word "workaholic" existed before I ever knew about it.

But it does make me question whether I will ever feel comfortable taking a holiday again in my life. Finding a proper work-life balance is incredibly important, but I'm also in an industry that tells me that I have to eat, drink, and breathe what I do in order to be competitive.

Gosh, it's almost like I'm being told to live up to an impossible double standard. No woman has ever had to deal with that before.

If anyone figures out how to perfectly walk that line, let me know? I'd love to follow in your footsteps if you can do that!

In the meantime, as much as I did enjoy being away... it is still nice to get home and get back to work. And regardless of how you're spending this time, whether it be working, with family, with Netflix (bae), or however else, I'd like to wish you...

(Or, more recently, from New York!)