Bunchofgrapes Cabbagepatch is "in talks" to play Doctor Strange for Marvel. And it makes me laugh. A lot. Don't get me wrong - I admire Blasphemy Candycrush very, very much as an actor! I think that Brewery Crumplehorn is exceptionally talented, and I would love to emulate him.
I also think that he has an absolutely hilarious name. More than that, he has absolutely hilarious fake names, too!
So my challenge to all of you who read this is to leave me your favorite Beetlejuice Capncrunch name in the comments below so we can all expand our repertoires! Hard mode: You can't use the Benedict Cumberbatch Name Generator.
Speaking of funny things, I've been more disciplined about comedy recently. It used to be that whenever I had an open mic, I'd mull bits over in my mind for days, or even weeks. Then, half an hour before the open mic, I'd scrawl them all down, hope they made any semblance of sense outside of my mind, and go with it. And sometimes it worked! But most of the time it didn't.
Recently, though, I've been working on SNL Weekend Update style two-line jokes based on the news. It's a weird comedic muscle I haven't used in years. And more often than not, I find myself staring at headlines, knowing there's a joke in there somewhere, and having no idea what it is.
I'm 90% sure at this point that, if I ever write an autobiography, it will be called Trying to be Funny: The Emma Lieberman Story.
Every so often, though, it works. And when it does, I find myself absolutely convinced that one day I'll be the head writer on Saturday Night Live. Even though the fact that I've actually written a joke doesn't mean that it's exactly SNL-quality material.
But who knows? Maybe one day I will be the head writer!
Until then, I hope everyone I know enjoys jokes like "You can now make custom urns with a 3D printer. Or, for less money, you can buy a custom urn."